my holiday

WALT -we are learning to write,edit and recraft our writing

To write my story I made a plan at the top of the page. Then I wrote my story underneath the green writing shows the editing and the I have done and the red parts show what Mr  Masters helped me with.

Yay what a great day, my  cousins, mum,

dad, Kellyann, Bostin and I are going to have together.

        I   

First ^ got drss into some nice, cool clothes, tie up my

                

hair into a ponytail and eat weekbicks for beakrist. When

everyone was ready we what to town, Yay! I thought.

We drove in our old, red monster truck. When

everyone was buckled up the truck Started and

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off we whet to the market. When we first got there we

         what

looked around the place, so many things to she.  I pushed

                                                                 see

around my little cousin Harvey in a pram. Harvey was lazy

in his pram. “ laugh out loud” I thought. Time to

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go to collards for lunch. When we got ther they said it will

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take a while for the kichen to open so we

Hopd into the old red monster truck. So we are now

going to waipapa pub for lunch. we finally got there. there

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was a

free game machine there, I had so much fun on it.

Kellyann and I shared wedges, Yum!. Then it was Time to  

                                                                            

go see Grandma at the ceamatry . I gave her some pink,  

Little diamond things.  it was time to go home to have  

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dinner and settle down for bed.

Reflection- Editing my work was hard, but writing the draft recount was easy

What did you do on the holiday ?